Ohhh my head!
by KrazyboutLara
Summary: Alice gets a song stuck in everyone's head. How bad can things possibly get?


Ohhh my head!

Disclaimer: All characters mentioned are the property of Stephenie Meyers. I am only borrowing them for the story. All songs mentioned are the property of Lady Gaga, Svenson & Gielen, Britney Spears and Loona and Jem is the property of Hasbro. No infringement of any kind is intended.

Summary: Alice gets a song stuck in everybody's head. How bad can things possibly get?

The car pulled into the driveway. It was a lazy summer afternoon at the Cullens. Although it was cloudy as usual, the temperature was actually neutral so Bella found herself outside with Edward. Emmett was having _too_ much fun with the slip 'n' slide. He

actually had FOUR of them taped together and was trying to see how far he could slide. He made poor Jasper go to the Toys R Us in Port Angeles for ANOTHER slip 'n' slide set. Meanwhile, Alice spent all morning at the mall. When she was parking the car

in the garage, the speakers loudly blasted Lady Gaga's "Poker Face." Edward glared while Rosalie rolled her eyes. The lyrics were just annoying:

I want to hold them like they do in Texas Plays

Fold them let them hit me raise me baby stay with me

I love it

Luck and intuition play the cards with spades to start

And after he's been hooked, I'll play the one that's on his heart

Oh oh oh

I'll get him hot, show em what I've got

Oh oh oh

I'll get him hot, show em what I've got

Can't read my, can't read my

No he can't read my poker face (She's got to love nobody)

Can't read my, can't read my

No he can't read my poker face

Alice unfortunately, had her Ipod set in "repeat" mode so it started up again when it finished. Bella covered her ears and ran. Emmett however was trying to block it out with another song and Edward couldn't believe what he was "hearing":

Jem is adventure, oooh Jem

Jem is excitement, oooh Jem

Jem is glamour and glitter, fashion and fame

Jem! She's truly outrageous

She's truly truly outrageous

Oh and her music's contagious

Jem is her name and no one else is the same

Jem is her name…

(A/N: Although I don't know if the lyrics are 100% correct this EVIL song has been stuck in my head for a LONG time. Oh, the curse of being an 80s child…)

Edward couldn't stand it any longer and ran but it was too late. Now he had the Jem song stuck in his head ALONG with Lady Gaga. It was all Alice's fault since Emmett wouldn't have hummed the Jem song to block out Poker face. Bella wondered what

the hell caused Edward to run away and stomped over to Emmett. "Okay, what did Edward just hear in your head?" "Nothing, Bellie. I was trying to block out that stupid song…" She never let him finish. She slapped him on the shoulder. "But you didn't

have to block it with something even worse! What was the song?!" Emmett shivered. An angry Bella was always bad news. "Tell me right now!" "B-believe me, you don't want to hear the song…" "I'll dump garlic on you…" She felt her shoulders slump

and her knees get wobbly. Jasper hit her big time with an overdose of fatigue and depression. It was the only thing he could think of. Making her happy would only make her sing "Poker face" and he didn't want her running into the house singing it

around Esme. A horrifying thought struck him. He ran into the house as fast as he could.

Poor Jasper was too late as Alice had put the CD in the family stereo. Now Esme and Carlisle could hear it booming from the speakers in the living room. Carlisle stared in horror and ran from the room but he was hooked. When the song finished, Carlisle

went back and hit the REPEAT button on the CD player. Esme glared at Alice. She HATED the song but couldn't stop "repeating" it in her head. She stomped over to the butcher block and flung an ice pick at Alice. Bella hid in the kitchen closet as Esme

grabbed more knives from the block. Alice yanked the pick from her shoulder and ran as Esme flung another at her. It lodged itself into the front door as Esme shrieked, "How dare you stick that ugly excuse for a song in people's heads!!" Before leaving

the house, Esme yanked the power cord out of the wall. Bella sighed with relief but she had a new problem: she had Jem stuck in her head now. "Damn you Emmett! Why, I mean WHY did you even watch that stupid cartoon!?" She looked at the kitchen

counter. Drat, Esme took all the knives with her as she chased down Alice. Edward was nowhere to be seen. Jasper had his head in his hands, groaning because he couldn't get "Poker Face" out of his head.

Rosalie's BMW pulled into the driveway. She stared, genuine confusion on her face. "What are all of you doing?" Emmett replied "Sorry honey. It's just that Alice got Lady Gaga's new song stuck in everyone's heads." "Oh, I know an even better song!!"

To Emmett's horror, she began humming out Svenson & Gielen's "Beach Breeze" out loud as she unloaded the car.

There's no dark clouds in my world now  
There's no dark clouds only sunshine

I'll remember the summer forever  
You took my lips  
You took my hands  
Took me to the ocean  
Made love to me  
In the water  
Water

Not knowing what else to do, Emmett covered his ears and ran. Rosalie shrugged and began unloading some bags as she continued humming "Beach Breeze." Bella heard it too and howled loudly, trying to block it out. She seriously thought about

getting into Rosalie's car and ramming it into a tree so she could die with what little dignity she had left. Sadly for Bella, Rosalie loved the song so much that she grabbed Bella and danced into the house, repeating the song. Now Bella had "Poker face,"

"Jem" AND "Beach Breeze" stuck in her head. If she blocked out one song, one of the other two "took over." And Edward was cursing somewhere in the forest because he had made the gigantic mistake of reading Rosalie's thoughts. Now HE had "Beach

Breeze" stuck in his head all because he was hoping Rosalie would get "Poker Face" stuck in her head. It really drove home the old saying "misery loves company."

A/N: Please, pretty please read and review! Part 2 is coming up. Thank you!


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